Happy 1st Father's Day

Happy 1st Father's Day to Neil!!!
He is truly the best father.
His father would be proud.
His grandfather would be extremely proud.
I am so blessed, Josephine is blessed.
I have to be honest, when I was pregnant with Josephine, I was a bit nervous. Neil didn't seem to understand the pregnant-lady struggles. He definitely didn't know how to handle my emotional breakdowns. And those happened quite often. I just really didn't know what to expect once she came into the world. Especially not having an ounce of experience with babies... He really impressed me. He just jumped right into fatherhood. I don't even think I made a bottle in the 1st month of her existence. And with our washer & dryer down in the basement - Neil was on laundry duty for about 3 weeks. He hated it, but didn't complain.
As Josephine is getting older, and her personality is starting to come through - Neil is really enjoying this whole parenting thing. He loves making her laugh, and reading to her...it melts my heart to see them together.
What is so amazing? That I can leave for hours at a time and don't have to worry - at all! Since he's off for the summer, it's daddy-daughter time 3 days a week. This last week was his first week doing this...he looked a bit drained at the end of each day...and made a comment like: I really need to thank my mom...those are long days...Uh. Thanks babe...I took that as a compliment to me as well....
Happy Father's Day babe!!!!!! I love you.
This video is from day 2 of him being a daddy: Neil 03-20-11

She's 3 months old...

Josephine Jimza Hartman
3 months old

We don't have any pictures of us as a family - how is that? I need to get on that....and pronto!

DownInTheDumps

I took my usual Tuesday night weights class last night. I've been back at the gym, taking this class, along with one other for about 6 weeks now. I don't feel like I'm getting stronger. I didn't realize what great shape I was in before pregnancy - until now. I knew it would be hard, and continue to be hard - but man. I didn't think it'd be this hard. During the ab section of the class, I was having a heck of a time pulling off the moves. I eventually gave up, and just went back to the basic sit-up. My instructor made it a point to make a comment at the end of class that it takes a really long time to get back to doing such hard moves after a long break from doing it...especially after surgery. She had a c-section herself about 8 years ago, so she must feel my pain. Guaranteed she bounced back a lot faster - she's in incredible shape, and has been at it for like 15 years. But annnnywaaays.
I guess I thought it would easier to jump right back into it. Not to mention I'd like to get back to jogging. Pre-pregnancy, I was doing 3 miles and getting good at it. And it took me a long time to get to that point. I have to start all over again...Ugh.
I'm going to try things a little different this time around. I found this article online, and it provided a guide to follow. For example: Walk 5 mins., jog/run 1 minute - do this for 30 minutes. Once I can do that, walk 4 mins., jog/run 2 mins....and so forth... Seems pretty simple. Eventually I should be able to run the entire 30 minutes, and then progressively get faster. My ultimate goal is 3 miles in 30 minutes. I wonder if I can do this by the end of the year?
Another thing that has me downinthedumps: My mother hasn't met Josephine yet.
No comment on that really.
But you know, at the end of the day - God has blessed me with this amazing little family.
Look...I'm already feeling better. :) Josephine is SOOO fun these days. Talking and smiling. Neil sent me this picture at work today:

Seriously. I died. She looks so cute. And if someone can find me a hat that's infant size, and white - I would greatly appreciate it because this navy blue one isn't going to cut it. It doesn't match anything in her wardrobe! Goodness I love her!!! Wow. Feeling a lot better now.

phew!

I made it through yet another cold winter here in Erie. Why am I blogging about this fact in June you ask? Well, it was literally cold a month ago. I was waiting for the consistency of warm days, and it's finally happened! Yippy! Of course now that the heat is here, I have something to complain about - the humidity. You have no idea what this does to my hair. Thankfully I have found a wonderful product that controls this frizz-chaos: Pureology Super Straight serum. It's amazing! The price? Not so much. I was hunting around on ebay looking for shoes, and I thought to hunt for this stuff...and look! There it was. After great communication with the seller, I found out she had only used it twice, and it didn't work for her - what?! I put a bid in, and WON!!! Yay. I got it for only $10. Okay, and another thing - unlike my husband, mr. i don't sweat, I sweat. With this humid/thick air, it's like no mercy. I have no escape. At least in CA, you can hide under a tree, and there's usually always a breeze.


Okay. Why am I complaining? This is stupid. There's no snow on the ground, and it's above 50 degrees. Shut.Up.

Jos is giggling. Good grief it's the cutest thing! And talking. When I read books to her, she talks back - I'm like, pay attention missy...she just comes back at me with a smile. Adorable.
And she's growing out of her clothes!!! Ahhhh, I need to do more shopping! She's fitting perfectly in 3 month sizes, and I'm pretty sure next week they won't fit. Well...3 month onesies & sleepers. Her 0-3 month pants still don't fit around her waist. It's hot, she doesn't need to be in pants - I know. She does have some adorable dresses that are so close to fitting her! Yay!
She's almost rolling over. She's kind of been at this stage for awhile, mainly because she likes to sleep on her side. It's so cute watching her get comfortable. When it's nap time, she always prefers her crib where she can talk to her friends that float above her in the mobile. Love her!

Tomorrow is Neil's last day of work for the summer. I'm bringing Josie in to show her off to his co-workers. Of course, Neil doesn't understand the chaos/infatuation of a new baby. When I brought this up to him, he was like "why?" I said, just inform the ladies in the office that I'm thinking about it, and you see their reaction. Of course, I was right. They are so excited. Us women and babies. Don't men understand?

Don't have any new pictures of Jos. I'll post them when I take more.
Next week the Q's are coming into town. I can't explain just how excited we are! Having good friends meet Jos is so fun. I can't wait.

Recap

This is a recap of the last couple of weeks....
Our flower tree in the backyard had created quite a mess, but it looked awesome. Neil suggested we take some pictures with Josephine. Since I don't like to have my picture taken, he was the chosen one to sit w/her under the tree. Take a look:

Josephine also turned 2 months old this week. It has been sort of weird actually...like...she's our daughter. Ours. Whoa. I've dreamt of this moment, having a family. And it's here. Now. I'm living in my dream life NOW. I could not feel more blessed. Well...I guess, it could be better. For example. If I were living back in California where my closest friends live, and where my mother is. It makes me sad that some of the most important people in my life haven't even met her yet. Thankfully my sister Eva was able to come out...she is the only family member from my side that has met her. It's quite sad. Now, don't get me wrong...I have super close friends here in Erie. One in particular? My girl Autumn. I'd be lost without her. And Neil's family is undeniably the best family anyone could be married in to. We are beyond spoiled. You all know this. But my mom. My mom hasn't even held her first granddaughter yet. Ugh. I'm getting sad. Moving on...

At about 9am this morning I heard the mail being dropped in our mailbox. As I opened the door, expecting a chill to hit me, a warm breeze smacked me right in the face. Aaaaah. Warmth. I immediately started to calculate when I would be feeding Jos next, because right after that - in the stroller she will go and outside we will be. What else did I decide? To attach Cali to the stroller and have her join us. It was a challenge because she's a puller - but I did it! Our friend Joel down the street was out mowing his lawn, so we got to visit with him. I hated having to come back home! I wanted to walk for the rest of the day....

And look at this tree in our neighborhood....soooo pretty:

Oh and this is funny. I was trying to get Josephine to smile for the camera and this is picture one...then picture two....

haaaaahhaaa. Love her. She is so dramatic.
(That isn't genetic, is it?)

First Mother's Day

My very first Mother's Day. It started early last week when I was presented with an unexpected gift from Neil. An Amazon Kindle. I've wanted one for a very long time. For the past few years, I've found a new love of reading so I was very, VERY excited to receive such an amazing gift such as this. I'm not a fast reader, and tend to go for the more obvious choices. Such as books-turned-into-movies...Nicolas Sparks...the Twilight Series...Little Women...Catcher in the Rye (which was a new read for me as of last year. I can't believe I had never read it before then) ...basically, easy reads. I like to mentally escape every once in awhile. And w/summer quickly approaching, I will invest most of my spare time to my favorite activity - sun bathing & reading.
Leading up to the weekend, Neil and I, with great relief have finally figured out the perfect combo that pleases our daughter when it comes to feeding time. She is one picky eater. Shocked? We're not. It has been extremely frustrating up until this point. I wonder if I was like this as a baby? We all know how ridiculous I am now. Well. Enfamil instant, ready-to-go formula + latex nipple + ventaire bottle = a happy, satisfied baby. Phew!
So, the weekend. We had weather in the 60s, sun was shining - so awesome. I would've like it more towards the 80s, but I refuse to complain. We spent as much time as we could outside. Erin and Leroy came over at one point on Saturday which was fun. It's always so nice to spend time with them. Some cute photos...

Neil and Josephine:

Do you notice the flowers blooming on the tree? Amazing. I love this tree. And Neil was showing Jos this random tulip that is growing in the middle of the yard. I keep trying to tell him to dig it up and move it, but he won't. He likes how random it is. He is so strange.

Now Mother's Day: Woke up and got my day started with coffee. Cindy was coming over and since the weather was so nice, we decided to grill. Neil got some last minute items at the store as I got the house cleaned and Josie fed, napped and dressed. It was such a great day, spending time with family. I really missed my mom of course, but I was able to talk to her a couple of times. (The 2nd time was after the Laker's game was over, and they were officially done for the season - she was actually in a good mood if you can believe it. Saying things like "...they deserved to lose..." and "I'm glad it's over with..." Ugh. What a frustrating & embarrassing series that was.) Annnyways...it was a very good day. It ended with Jacqui (Sean's g/f) coming over & watching the newest episode of Grey's Anatomy. And then a very cute moment that I caught of Josephine and her daddy:

How precious is that? Here are a couple other photos from the day:

Look how huge my head is compared to hers! haha
Oh, and take a look at this....

My sweet, wonderful, best-in-the-world mother in law - Cindy...with Cali. A pit bull. This woman was in tears when she heard we were even considering getting one. I love that she loves her. I feel truly blessed to have such a great family. Beyond blessed to have such amazing friends, near and far.

3 Years.

3 years ago today I left my home state of CA. I still miss you California. My heart belongs there. I still don't feel at "home" here in Erie, PA. In the back of my mind, plans of moving back are still lingering. Who knows, God may lead us back. But for right now, I know this is where we belong. So much has happened since our arrival. House. New car. Baby.
Here are some "I'm sure you've seen these already" photos:

Last dinner w/some friends (gosh I'm tan here).

Packing up crew - minus the WOA guys...where are they?

The apt we called home

the car piled high w/misc. items

including my traveling companion for many years...Joe

Okay...so I'm missing the photos of us actually traveling the US, and then us arriving in Erie. Uh. Oh. Where could they be?! Frick. I'll post another blog about our arrival. Hopefully I didn't lose those! Being in Erie has been quite awesome actually...the 4 seasons, the friendships, the good eats, the easy living (financially)... I'm real happy to be here. Sometimes. Some days. But all in all, I love it here.

1 month

My daughter is a month old.
I can't believe it.
It's been rough at times.
Calm at times.
But that's what comes with the territory, right?
We're still trying to figure her out.
Will we ever figure her out?
I'm thinking - no.
After 8 years together, my husband still can't figure me out...
We love her more than anything! <3
We were recently introduced to the book "Baby Wise".
I've only read half of it, but it seems quite simple.
Whether Josie will participate or not?
No idea.
But I'm looking forward to the sleep that comes along w/following the rules of this book.
Not that she's not a good sleeper, because she is, in 2-3 (sometimes 4-5) hour increments...
What have we discovered about our oh-so-sweet daughter?
Loves to eat.
Loves to eat so much that if we don't get her a bottle right away, a temper flares.
(We've determined she gets that from me)
Likes to sleep on her side...and is particularly picky about the softness of the blanket she is sleeping upon.... watching her snug herself into it, is quite precious.
Doesn't like a bath.
After the bath though, she smells so good...She is super squishy & I just want to squeeeeze her!
The first couple weeks of her life, she unfortunately got a real bad case of baby acne - oh and also....Thrush. Ugh. That threw a wrench into things.
Acne has disappeared, thank God. I can take pictures of her again...don't judge me.
Thrush is still there, but we got another type of antibiotics to hopefully fix it...

So. I started this post yesterday, in the middle of the day - in the middle of my 1st day of Baby Wise rules. Guess what? My daughter slept a solid sleep from 10:30pm until 5:15am. I did wake up at 4am to check to make sure the monitor was working... And Neil admitted to waking up every hour, on the hour to listen... Why I have just now been introduced to this method, is beyond me. However, I still need to finish reading the book.

Now, here are a couple of recent photos - I do need to take more, I know...but she is looking less like me, and more like Neil these days.
Daddy and Jos:

Cali and Jos:

I now need to wake my girl up for her scheduled feeding....

Miss Josephine J Hartman

From the beginning...
I had an appointment on March 17th - St. Patty's day, to check on the baby, and see how much she had grown in a week. My doctor shared his concerns, after the sonogram, and suggested I get admitted that night. The plan, thin out my cervix overnight - and if my body participates, then start inducing in the morning. The accommodations were very nice, we had a great view of the lake, and we felt quite comfortable. At least I have some green on my gown, right?

The nurses prepared this bed for Neil - how nice is that?

Annnd the nurses suggested I order a lot of food before the kitchen closes at 10pm. I had to stop eating by midnight. So I did. The sandwich wasn't very good, but those cookies....yum. The cheesecake was a pressure order - the nurses basically made me order it. It was quite tasty.

I didn't get any sleep that night. Nurses and the on call doctor were in every hour on the hour. It wasn't fun. Neil however was snoring - apparently he was getting decent sleep. The fact they said, we'll wake you at 6am was hilarious. Did they think I would get any sleep? 6am could not come soon enough. They did more tests and informed me a doctor would be in by 7am to talk with me. Which doctor? They had no clue. Now, the office that I go through has 7 ob/gyns - isn't that nuts? And you just never know who's on call. The nurses don't even know. I was nervous. Mind you, I met all of them, and generally like them all...of course I would've liked my main doctor to walk in the room, but he was on call the day before. 7am rolls by, and walks in the newest member of Ob/Gyn Associates of Erie - Ms. Dr. Warner. I immediately thought of my friends Bryan and Christina who are expecting as well - she is their FAVORITE. After discussing my options w/her we decided to go ahead with a c-section - and within the hour, I was entering the operating room. Long story short, I'm a small person - small person + no dilation + big baby = complications. They were also nervous about her sugar levels - and didn't want to wait another day.
Neil - all prepped and ready to join me in the operating room:

While he was getting ready, a team of about 12 people were getting me ready. The job at hand? To numb me from my ribs to my toes. This was a challenge. I gave the anesthesiologists (yes, there were 2) a difficult time. I couldn't relax. The problem? The catheter. Yeeeouch. Just trying to sit up was super awkward and just down right painful. One of the anesthesiologists stood in front of me, practically hugging me, to get me to relax. Finally - a warm tingly feeling flowed down my legs. As soon as it happened, Dr. Warner's team went to work. It was like a blur. I do remember being very entertained by her team. Neil came in laughing at the fact I was super alert and joking around. I had a nurse right by my head giving me the play by play...and there were a few others I felt were in there, just to be in there. They were hilarious, and I enjoyed their company, that's for sure.
What I appreciated the most was how covered they kept me. There were sheets up everywhere. And whatever part of me wasn't being operated on, was covered with warm blankets. Neil didn't see anything he shouldn't - is what I'm saying. Within minutes Dr. Warner says "okay dad stand up!" Neil does. Then she says "okay dad, sit down." And then the cry. That wonderful cry. It had me in tears immediately. Dr. Warner then popped her head over the sheet and said "we made the right decision!" They put her on the scale, and the guesses began from everyone in the room. They were quite surprised that she only weighed 8lbs, 7ozs.. To me, she was tiny.
Neil went over and took some photos. Here's one:

She was extremely mad...
Neil brought her over to me, and I was surprised I could move my hands. I had heard that they tie your hands down...and have known women who have had their hands tied down during this operation. But mine were not. One of the anesthesiologists immediately took our camera and started taking photos.

I couldn't believe she was finally here...
At this point, we still didn't have a name for her. We shared what our ideas were to Dr. W, and she definitely gave her two cents...Josephine is my most favorite baby name ever! Throughout the surgery, she kept referring to her as Josephine. :) It helped us w/the decision...
They got me all wrapped up, and I was strolled down the hall to a pre-recovery area. We could hear a baby crying, and it was shocking how I just knew it was my daughter.

After little Miss and I got ourselves cleaned up, they shipped us up one more floor to our room for the next few days. Our stay at this hospital was amazing. We have zero complaints. The food was good. Accommodations were awesome. The staff went above and beyond to be there for us. This is a picture of Neil's bed:

This is Neil taking advantage of me out of bed....

Josephine and her mommy:

Isn't she squishy?
These are just the most recent photos I've taken of her:
All swaddled up... and then free of the swaddle...

Funny faces I caught...

And then precious...

She looks so different to me in the above photo. She is changing everyday.
We are learning more and more each day. What she likes (food), what she dislikes (diaper changes)...
We took some video footage of the weekend, which I really wanted to post on here - but they're not working :( Oh well...I'll try and figure it out.

Nursery

When I found out we were having a girl, I was very excited to get started on the nursery. I'm not your typical girly-girl, and I knew I didn't want to deck out the nursery in over the top girly decor and pinks. I'm a jeans, tank, sandals kind of girl....ask anyone. I'll wear an occasional dress, but it's rare. Annnnyways. Enough about me.
My girlfriend Autumn was in the process of buying her daughter a toddler bed, so it worked out that I was able to buy Emma's crib off of them. We got such a good deal, how could I refuse? And it's white - perfect. From there, I was on the hunt for a dresser/changing table. I wanted vintage, and I needed it to be within our budget. I really didn't think that was possible. I started hunting in January w/zero luck. I was starting to think this just wasn't going to happen for me. I was accepting the fact that I was just going to have to find something and make it work. Ugh. It was getting really, really frustrating. It was the only piece of item I needed to feel complete. I know, how dramatic right? Well, last week I went to this children's consignment store to just look around and when I pulled up - I noticed there was this teeny tiny antique store right next door. The Blue Cupboard. My heart fluttered. The night before I said a little prayer dear Lord, if it's possible, I would like to find this dresser tomorrow. (Even though I had no plans to look. I'd already been everywhere I could think of...and was just hoping for pure randomness.) As soon as I walked in, I just knew what I was looking for was in this tiny shop. I immediately LOVED everything in there. Sure enough, I took 3 steps, and there it was. The owner was wonderful and very chit-chatty...we got to talking about what I was going to use it for. She was so excited and thought it'd be perfect. Of course, I did too. It's actually called a "buffet" and is a vintage piece - not sure how old, but it sure was sturdy. I've seen this exact style/piece online and in other stores in the area - but for a really high dollar amount. The orange tag hooked to it read 20% off. My question to Sandy was "20% off of what?" - as I felt myself melt into a depression. She says "It's 20% off of $249. I really just want it out of here, it's been here for awhile." Uh what?! I freaked. FREAKED. They even deliver for free. Who is this lady, and what store did I step into? With the room for the nursery being more on the small side, I was a bit nervous to commit w/o going home first to measure. And of course, discuss it w/Neil. I texted Neil the photo and gave him all the information - he replied with "just buy it." Again...what? Who was I talking to? Who says the Lord doesn't listen and doesn't answer prayers? 'Cuz you crazy.
Now, don't judge - I don't have anything for the walls yet.... and the lighting wasn't so great, so you can't see the stripes as well as you can in person...

the built in shelf...notice Neil's corner? / The owls were made by Virginia & Laura - amazing, right?

Books! We need more / Teeny clothes. Can't wait.

Owl lamp my boss got for me. / Tooth fairy pillow made by my girl Natalie. Love.

Quilt made by Virginia! / Mommy & me quilts I made...

How much do you love that dresser?! Love. Love. Love!
Neil's corner - I was instructed to leave those items there. Isn't my husband precious? Love him.
In the built in, in the bottom right corner you see 2 stuffed animals. I work the box office on occasion - actually quite a bit during the busy season - and those are the mascots for the basketball team and the hockey team we have. My box office co-workers already went above and beyond w/the amount they bought me - and then threw those in there. I about died when I saw them. And I love the stuffed owls, and the tooth fairy pillow - how talented are my friends?

And is anyone surprised that I found a tiny black hoodie for my daughter? Well, you shouldn't be. I did edit it a bit. I didn't like what was on there, so I went punk rock and patched it up.

So excited to start this new chapter in our lives. I have about a week left...unless she decides to come sooner. At my appointment today my doctor is giving this little one up until the 21st before he takes action. With the diabetes, "I've got a big one growing in there" and he doesn't want her getting too big. I'm really, really praying she'll just decide to come on her own....